Chapter 306 Military Affairs Department’s Weekly Selection of Articles

The 3rd weekly series

——【Weekly】The Imperial Guard has changed its name! ——

+++Emergency notice: From the moment you see this message, in order to show the uniqueness of the Imperial Guard, different from the common names and general names of ordinary troops, the Imperial Guard has been officially renamed the Astra Militarum. Before the arrival of 999.M35, the name change of all troops must be completed! +++

This order is simply a spark of wisdom and creativity. This is not just a name change, but a cultural and spiritual revolution!

This issue of weekly articles aims to explore the urgency and necessity of this galaxy-wide emergency notice from the Ministry of Military Affairs, and help everyone understand the wisdom, foresight and foresight of the Supreme Council!

First of all, "Emergency Notice" - what an exciting opening statement! It not only catches our eyes, but also makes our hearts beat faster, as if we are at a cosmic historical moment and are about to witness the birth of a great event. This is not an ordinary notice, it is the call of destiny, the horn of the glory of the Empire, and the spirit of the Sky Eagle Flag shining high above our heads!

Next, in order to "show the uniqueness of the Imperial Guard", what a lofty goal! In this era of monotony and similarity, who does not desire uniqueness? This is not just a change of name, it is a deep excavation of the soul of the basic military power of the Empire, and a high affirmation of our extraordinary identity.

"Different from the common names and common names of ordinary troops", this is simply a genius idea! Among the vast number of troop names, how to make the Imperial Guard stand out and become a unique existence? The answer is the Astra Militarum! This is a challenge, but also an opportunity, an opportunity to make us different from now on!

Then, "The Imperial Guard (IG) has been officially renamed the Astra Militarum (cannot be abbreviated AM because the Mechanicus is also AM, alas)", the power and wisdom contained in this name are simply shocking!

The name "Astra Militarum" not only has the grand atmosphere of the vast universe, but also contains the exploration and conquest of the unknown world. This is not just a name, it is simply a symbol, a symbol of the majesty and glory of the Empire!

Also, "Before the arrival of 999.M35, the name of the army must be completely replaced!" This is not only an order, but also a call of the times and a test for every citizen of the Empire. This deadline is not only a test of our execution, but also a test of our loyalty. It is also a historical node, marking the beginning of a new chapter for the Empire.

Finally, after we changed our name to the Astra Militarum, because the new words are too difficult to remember, we no longer have to worry about the differences in cultural levels within the army, causing some people to read our army name and some people not to, thus forming a culture of difference or even discrimination.

From today on, no one knows how to spell, write, or read our army name!

In short, this sentence is not just a simple notice, it is a cultural innovation, a farewell to the past and an expectation for the future.

Let us celebrate the arrival of this moment with the most sincere praise, because it is so cool!

Daily Thought: Don't follow the guidance of the dagger.

+++

——【Weekly】Pay attention to your appearance——

As a member of the glorious human empire, every Astra Militarum should know how to dress properly to show your pride and recognition of your glorious identity. From the outer clothing to the inner mental outlook, you have many things to consider.

First of all, if you are not from a well-known military organization, such as the Catachan troops who are allowed to go shirtless, or the Krieg Corps who are allowed to consume gas mask reserves all year round, or the Nostramo Chemical Dogs who are self-financing and can follow the retro doomerwave trend, etc., please check whether you have worn the uniforms, belts and leather boots issued by the Military Affairs Department!

If the first step has been completed, check whether your military cap is worn properly, whether all buttons are buttoned, whether the collar is neatly arranged, whether the lining is tucked into the military pants under the belt, and whether the corners of the clothes are flat.

If you are unsure of your attire, immediately ask your squad leader to check it for you, unless it is later than 22:00 and earlier than 4:00 on Terran time.

Next, check your hairstyle.

If you have a dreadlock and are not a Sister of Silence, a Custodian, or a Space Marine, please reconsider whether you want to keep your dreadlocks on your head or keep your head on your neck.

If you have a standard Cadian crew cut, congratulations, you are a qualified private in terms of hairstyle. Please keep it.

If you are a bald soldier, immediately verify whether you are a Genestealer.

If you have a slightly bald head involuntarily, you can fill out the synthetic wig application form to solve your personal image problem. Remember, personal image is the image of the Empire.

If you don't care about your hairstyle but never wear a mask on the battlefield and have survived to this day, shining every time you are in danger, please return to New Terra, respected Emperor's favored one.

If you have long black hair and like to wear laurel wreaths, and are the chief psyker of your unit, please stay where you are, because Lord Perturabo, the Primarch of the Iron Warriors, is looking for you.

Daily Thought: The value of truth cannot be measured in words.

+++

——【Weekly】Drinking Guide——

Hello, brave Astra Militarum!

We have a very "special" case to show you: Recently, at the border of the Kronus Expanse, our soldiers found a barrel of unmarked liquid after a melee and mistook it for some new energy drink.

As a result, the situation became quite embarrassing when their commander found them cheering around a barrel of motor oil.

Obviously, the soldiers' knowledge of mechanical maintenance needs to be strengthened, but more importantly, this incident taught us a valuable lesson: no matter how eager you are, never drink motor oil.

Since we are talking about alcohol knowledge, we have to mention two traditional extraordinary drinks that are widely known in the Astra Militarum, the mead of the Space Wolves and the potato wine of the World Eaters.

Out of respect and love for the Astra Militarum, the Space Wolves may offer you this so-called traditional drink, claiming that it is as delicious as any standard Astra Militarum brew.

We strongly advise you to stay away from Space Wolves mead, not only because your inappropriate behavior after drinking will most likely cause trouble for your companions.

Some of the compounds used in the distillation process of the Space Marine's exclusive spirits do not match your normal human digestive system. It is said that the burning of internal organs will last for a long time, and your companions may enjoy a longer meal of wine-flavored roast meat.

However, changing the subject, if you are lucky enough to visit Nuceria, the potato distillate there is another matter.

Unlike the Space Wolves' mead, Nuceria's potato wine was originally used for the local mortals, and was tasted by both Primarchs and Space Marines. Therefore, potato wine is undoubtedly a good drink worth trying, with unique flavors, but it will not make your organs smoke.

In fact, it will give you a precious comfort and courage during a long and difficult campaign.

Here is a special reminder for everyone: although we encourage you to try potato distilled spirits in Nuceria, please remember to use them in moderation and avoid overdoing it. At the same time, you must firmly abide by an iron rule: no matter how eager you are, never try to drink motor oil.

After all, we want to see you fight bravely on the battlefield, not die young because of drinking something you shouldn't drink.

I hope you will continue to follow the Emperor's will and enjoy your normal standard brewing supplies, and perhaps a glass of Nuceria's potato distilled spirit when the time comes. Don't forget to toast your victory occasionally!

Daily Thought: 200% preparation is equivalent to missing the opportunity to fight.

+++

——【Every Monday Waaagh! 】Beware of scams! ——

In recent weeks, suspicious scammers with pointed ears are using puff puff things to trick boys into becoming overnight, from 50 cm little farts to 9 meters tall big big bosses! Don't worry, boys, don't stare at this line of words and drool, anyway, you learn low Gothic worse than the mushroom Sgugo of Zhongsi Academy!

Then, you must ask, what is the Puff Puff Fear thing? This is a long story. Our front-line nervous boy went deep into the fraudster's nest of thieves, Gomo, to investigate. He was almost kicked off by his leather boots, and only then did he get back this piece of information!

Let me tell you in detail, the Puff Puff Fear thing is an alchemical potion in a tube. Once it is injected into our hard muscles, the muscles will immediately rub and swell into a big piece, but ninety-nine out of a hundred tubes can stretch your muscles until they explode!

Except for our great six-meter-tall Super Wow Doctor Black Hawk boss, no one has used it successfully.

Don't be blown into a small pancake before you grow bigger!

Please pay attention, guys. Do not listen to or care about unfamiliar data board calls. If there are no canned bosses to guide you, shut it down immediately (if you really don’t know how to shut it down, just smash it. It’s better to go to the camp and do hard labor with the Ogryns than to be scammed by pointy-eared things!

Don’t trust the sales pitch that comes to your door. If the other party mentions suspicious words such as "bigger, greener, golder, waaagh", and plans to send you a trial package, it’s all a scam! Remember it!

Note: If the following ones come, don’t think it’s a scam!

[Some pictures]

This is the red boss, the best boss for you, you can ask him for a drink! But don’t let the golden corn bosses find out!

[More pictures]

This This is the yellow boss. Don't be fooled by his serious appearance. He is more serious than he looks in private! If you mess with him, you will definitely suffer. He can call the yellow and black boss to beat you up!

[Picture that looks like an ID photo]

This is the yellow and black boss. Don't be fooled by his serious appearance. He is more serious than the yellow boss in private! If you mess with him, you will definitely suffer, because the red boss will definitely not take you with him when he takes us to a tantrum party next time!

[Picture captured with a door lock]

This is the big golden guy. He is being tracked by the above bosses and the golden corn bosses throughout the galaxy. I don't know where he is.

If any boy sees him, report it to the higher-ups immediately. We can provide genuine alchemical potions to ensure that you become bigger, greener, golder, and waaagh!

Editor of this issue: The smartest little fart elf·Loves to eat bubble water·Kicked by Black Hawk boss's princess Tiaotiao·What is Frost Goblin·The one who is most afraid of Flame Troll·Little fart elf editor!

Daily Waaagh: Big Bang Bang will definitely beat Big Bomb!

+++

——【Every Monday Waaagh! 】The scum that hinders us! ——

To my loyal readers, touch your cute stupid heads, even if you are hopelessly stupid, you are much smarter than the annoying shrimps in the Planet Transformation Department!

Ever since I came from the neighboring Centaur galaxy, the sales of Waagh every Monday have increased day by day and night by night. The shrimp government still thinks we are in the way and insists on removing us from the Transformation Department, not allowing us to continue to use the title of one article per week and continue to "pepper and entangle" and disrupt their office order.

Don't think I don't know. Before we broke in here and started writing for you for free, we published a new issue every week at a loss. We didn't even owe the authors' royalties, and we had to pay 24% tax. Do we have such a department? It's really a scam!

We should really call the technicians to eat the government! Take it away, I don't want your printer!

Boys, this Monday Waaagh this week is our last feature newspaper. Those who shed tears can roll up this paper and wipe their faces.

If you want to read our serials in the future, look for the Golden Axe Clan's Golden Dakka Department. We will definitely find another place to continue publishing newspapers, be self-reliant, and establish our own military Waaagh department!

Editor of this issue: Orc Boss, very cool·Cultural green skin·Glasses with 8,000 degrees·I heard that the thicker the glasses, the more knowledgeable you are, so I use the bottom of a wine bottle as glasses·Super big green rat boss!

Daily Waaagh: The end of culture is no culture!

+++

——【One article per week】Warriors, I'm back——

Respectable Astra Militarum warriors! With unremitting efforts, we finally took back the right to use the editorial department from the stupid sub-humans, and supplemented the editorial department with brand new writing robot servants that have not been affected by "wah" thinking!

First, all of these servitors have come from the ranks of warriors in their long and respectable careers, and they know how to create more vivid stories that are more appealing to Astra Militarum soldiers and close to combat life, such as how many standard units of power are needed to just repair a grumbling Rhino transporter to the point where it can continue to move forward, or to kick off one's own toes so that they can directly get on the car and wait for the moment when the repair is completed and continue to move forward.

Second, through the most advanced mind-stimulating solvents and combat-grade wrist bone replacement and biological enhancement modules, all servitors can achieve a stable update of more than 20,000 words per day. Every day!

Finally, our new servitor friends were all loyal readers of the weekly newspaper. After learning that they loved the weekly newspaper during their lifetime, we were very moved and immediately invited you to participate in the text and non-text work of the editorial department, so that they can deeply join this desirable and respectable cause.

In the new creative process, we will definitely provide a better reading experience for our loyal readers!

Daily Thought: Thoughts cannot be killed by bullets, and neither can thinkers.